The Wedding Planner, Westerosi Style.

SPOILERS BEWARE. This post is going to be heaving with Game of Thrones, S04E02 spoilers. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, do not read!

Episode 2 was a cracker, it really was. We got to see some juicy content for the world of Westeros and were present at the second colour themed wedding of the series. However, before we get to the grand finale of this episode, let’s have a look at who else we saw.

First of, Reek. Theon Greyjoy’s new identity and life, we have a glimpse at what Ramsay has done to him. I must say, it is a shame that Reek is still so… ‘normal’ looking. In the books, Ramsay really messes Theon up. He is pretty much unrecognizable. His hair has fallen out, what he has left is grey and brittle, he is missing most of his teeth, his skin is grayed and wrinkled, he can barely walk and he is emaciated beyond recognition. Obviously, the costume and make-up department has it’s limits, I just personally feel that the way Reek looks in the show really doesn’t pay enough attention to how changed Theon truly is. Here’s hoping that it turns into a series long transformation.TheonS3x02

However, what we do see is his interactions with House Bolton. I really enjoyed seeing Ramsay and Roose’s exchange at the Dreadfort. You can really tell just how eager Ramsay is to prove himself as being a Bolton. Remember, at the minute he is simply a bastard. We also get to see just how obedient Reek has become, following every order of his new master.

Leaving the Dreadfort behind, we get to have a glimpse, finally, of Jaime and Tyrion having a nice quiet dinner. I think it is really great finally getting a chance to see these two on screen together. Out of all of the insufferable Lannisters, Jaime is the one who Tyrion respects and gets on with the most. We also get to see Jaime let his guard down on how he feels about his missing hand. What does Tyrion do in response? Gives us one of the best decisions the directors have made.

A Game of Thrones shall hereby be renamed to A Game of Bros, namely, Bronn and Jaime.

My goodness, casting Bronn as Jaime’s new sparring partner was brilliant. In the books Ilyn Payne, the King’s Justice, the one who took Ned’s head, is Jaime’s partner. This is great in the books as we see a lot of what Jaime has to say and think about his situation without having to mind his tongue, pardon the pun. However, in the series, the two characters of Jaime and Bronn will bounce off each other brilliantly. It also gives us a lot more screen time with Bronn, as, judging from the books, he didn’t have a lot of time left at King’s Landing.

And now, after waiting for so long, we come across the Wedding of the century. Red Wedding is yesterday’s news, today we celebrate the union of Baratheon/Lannister and Tyrell, the purplest of weddings!

First off, presents. Tyrion, being the scholarly badass he is, gives Joffrey a book. Now, that’s a big deal. Books are hard to come by, there are no printing companies or book stores, everything is hand written and usually rather rare. Does Joffrey care? Of course not. As soon as he gets his nice shiny sword the book is as good as gone. What a little shit.

A little wedding break and we cut to Shae and Tyrion. Thank the Gods, she is finally gone. Honestly, Shae and Tyrion is such an annoying combination in this series. Shae is such an insufferable idiot who cannot see the obviousness of how precarious her position is. She just does not understand that, no matter how much she loves Tyrion, it will not stop the blade that will inevitably be cutting off her head. I think Tyrion was brilliant in this scene, you can really see that he just does not want to do what he is doing, forcing his own hand in order to protect the one he loves, he can barely look at her. However, something tells me this isn’t the last we shall see of Shae…

bran tree

Next up, Bran. We can really see his Warg powers rapidly progressing. He and Summer now are extremely adept at the skin changing. He is beginning to realise just how easy it is to live the life of a Dire wolf. Escaping from his harsh and bleak reality to run in the wilds, hunting and fighting. The most important part of Bran’s scene has to be the prophecy. He see’s visions of the past, Ned in the black cells and himself falling from the tower and visions of potential futures, the dragon over Kings Landing and the derelict throne room. The key part of the vision, however, was the Weirwood on the hillside, his new destination.

Back to the wedding, and Joffrey and Margerey are finally joined together. We have some brilliant scenes in this wedding, Tywin and Olenna’s exchange is brilliant. For such a militant diplomat, Tywin truly has met his match with the Queen of Thorns. She is brilliant! I also think it great seeing Cersei realise her power is finally wanaing. Now there is a new Queen, Cersei is nothing but the Mother of the King, and she fully exploits what little power she has left. Trying to win over both the common folk and nobles in Joffrey’s name, Margery donates the leftovers to the poor of the city. Cersei’s response? Nope. Throw it away. But even that is not enough, she chews out Brienne, probably the most badass of the lot, for her feelings for Jaime. What a shit.

The clash of the two brothers is also brilliant. Loras delivers a brilliant one liner, mirroring what most of Westeros have been thinking. When talking about the upcoming marriage between Cersei and Loras, Jaime says

“If you were to marry Cersei she would murder you in your sleep. If you somehow manage to put a child in her first, she would murder him too, long before his first breath. Luckily for you, none of this will happen because you will never marry”

“And neither will you” – Loras

OUCH! Apply water to the burn, Jaime

However, the greatest wedding exchange has to be the quasi-boxing match tag team.

In the red corner; Cersei Lannister and Tywin Lannister!

In the orange corner; Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand!OberynEllariaPW

The conversation between these two is brilliant, changing blow for blow, getting low punches and the high hits. Oberyn commenting on the Dornish lack of prejudcie whilst also reminding them “Hey, we have your daughter. And we remember what you did to my sister and her daughter extremely well, so be careful”. I cannot tell you how happy I am to finally have the Martells involved, they really can give the Lannisters a run for their money.

Finally, we come to the main act. Joffrey, being the idiot he is, presents probably the most distasteful thing to present at a wedding. Everyone is uncomfortable, everyone knows how much of a shit Joffrey is, and Joffrey loves it. Yet no one can do or say a thing. Especially Sansa who has probably been dealt one of the worst hands on the show. Joffrey is such a shit.

Especially after his performance with Tyrion. How humiliating. Tyrion takes it like a beast. He knows Joffrey’s intentions and he knows how to react. Yet, this isn’t enough. The wine pouring, the cup bearer, Joffrey is intent on chewing out Tyrion until he can chew no more. Even Margery’s attempts at cooling down the situation fall on deaf ears. Not even the pie can save the day. Do you know what does? Poison.

Lovely, tasty, choking poison. Only the best poison will do. It’s a good job someone poisoned his drink, huh?

The final act, the one everyone has been waiting for. The death of the true mad king, the death of Joffrey.

No matter how much the character was hated, we all have to applaud Jack Gleeson, the actor, for his outstanding performance.

The episdoe ends with Joffrey, the former King of Westeros, choking to death, his arm outstretched towards Tyrion.

The real question is, who done it?

So there we have it. The episode I have been waiting for for a very long time. I must admit, it was not as good as I had created it in my mind, but it was still very very good. What did you think of this episode? Who do you think killed Joffrey? Let me know in the comments!dead joff


The Chicken and The Hound – It keeps getting better and better!

This is a warning, the following post is going to contain a ridiculous amount of spoilers for season four of ‘Game of Thrones’. If you haven’t watch up to episode one yet, get out! Or, if you are into some kind of weird story driven masochism, by all means, carry on reading. However, this will be the first and last warning, DO NOT READ if you do not want season four, episode one spoiled. Otherwise, enjoy!

YOU SPOILED IT! Ser Meryn, beat this idiot blogger.

YOU SPOILED IT! Ser Meryn, beat this idiot blogger.

So, I’ve just watched the first two episodes of season four back to back. I mean, come on, what loyal fan doesn’t watch the previous episode to the upcoming episode in the few hours before air time? I honestly didn’t think HBO and the directors could get any better. The Red Wedding and the ‘Dracarys’ scene made season three the best television season to ever be aired. To improve upon them would be like trying to recreate the Mona Lisa; impossible.

Oh, how naive I was.

Let’s start from the beginning shall we? I’ll be going over some of the best parts of season four, episode one, giving a little bit of insight and personal opinion on the scenes.

We start off with Tywin being himself; a badass, sword melting, symbol loving conqueror. This scene is something I have looked forward to watching for a very long time. I have spoken about Tywin’s lust for a Valyrian blade, and now he has melted down no-head Ned’s sword, just like he has melted down most of the Stark line, he is able to make not one, but TWO Valyrian swords for his house. This short scene is extremely symbolic, it shows house Lannister’s complete domination over the Starks. The burning of Ned’s sheath, which is the skin of a wolf, shows Tywin’s complete confidence with the outcome of the war. The verdict? Don’t mess with Tywin

The long awaited arrival of the Dornishmen is next on the menu. Also a long awaited favourite of mine, Dorne is, in my opinion, one of the greatest areas of Westeros that we haven’t had the fortune of seeing yet. House Martell and those sworn to them happen to have some amazing stories and intrigues written around them, and I am extremely happy that they are finally being introduced into the series.

oberyn tyrionOberyn Martell, the brother of the Prince of Dorne and the resident font of awesome within King’s Landing for season four. A breath of fresh air in a pit of vipers, ironic considering he is called the ‘Red Viper’, Oberyn comes to Kings Landing with one thing on his mind; revenge. His introduction for this series was nothing short of epic. Inspecting the exquisite lords and ladies of the local whorehouse, Oberyn and his Lady Paramour, Ellaria Sand, show us the first glimpse of what kind of characters they’re going to show be. You don’t mess with someone like Oberyn, this much is obvious when he would happily kill Lannister men for simply singing a song, yet he seems to want to provoke all he comes into contact with. The fact he brings a bastard to court with him shows how much contempt he has for the etiquette of high born life. With all these things apparent, his opening scenes give us a great insight into the history of House Lannister and House Martell. Specifically, the history between Oberyn’s deceased sister, Elia, and Tywin’s bannerman, Gregor Clegane. Long story short, Gregor raped and murdered Elia along with her two children under the apparent orders of Tywin.

Oberyn’s encounter with Tyrion can be summed up with one perfect sentence; ‘The Lannister’s aren’t the only ones who pay their debts’. Watch this space guys, Oberyn is going to be a big player in this season.

Next we see Dany and captain obvious, AKA, Jorah. ‘They’re dragons, car-lee-see’. Safe to say, he is right. Dany is starting to realise that she cannot be the mother that the dragons need. After all, it is in their nature to burn and eat stuff, namely people. Cut to number one sleaze, Daario Naharis. Hang on, he has been re-cast! Finally! No more terrible acting and cringe-worthy chat up lines, this new guy actually looks fairly respectable! We see them again, later in the episode, on their way to Meereen. We also see the seeds of Dany’s will to rule, epitomized in the flowers. Finally, we see the first of the slave markers the Meereenese put up to great Dany into their realm. They sure are smart aren’t they?

“Hey, guys, you know Daenerys Targaryen is on her way here, y’know that woman who has three dragons, an army of deadly eunuchs and is massively against slavery. She has been razing all the slave cities around slaver’s bay, what shall we do? Perhaps we should try and appease her? After all, she has won every battle she has fought.”

“Nah, let’s just crucify 163 slaves and put them between her and the city, I’m sure that will scare her off.”


sansa-and-tyrion-house-stark-34551509-1280-852Next we have wedding bliss with Tyrion and Sansa. They’re still in the honeymoon period and are currently in talks with MTV about having their own reality show. But back in Westeros, we have a distraught Sansa being reconciled by a lost Tyrion. We have had almost a year to mourn The King in The North, Sansa has had only one episode. At least things will be looking up for her, right? It’s not as if she is trapped in a city full of enemies and her husband is in love with a whore, is it? Wait…

Speaking of which, that idiot Shae really does not get it. I mean, does she not understand what kind of people are living in The Red Keep? What does she want Tyrion to do? Divorce his lady wife and marry a prostitute? Come on, stop being an idiot Shae. Be realistic, it isn’t going to happen, so stop fucking things up all the time. Honestly, I really dislike the T.V. version of Shae, In the books we all know what she’s into; money. Whereas in the show she is just a whiny idiot who doesn’t understand how royal courts and intrigue works.

Skip to everyone’s favourite incestuous lovers, Jaime and Cersei Lannister. We finally get to see Jaime’s glorious hand, HBO actually released a very good behind the scenes video in the making of that hand, it truly is very nice. Anyway, in these scenes we see the cracks start to show in their siblings relationship. We also see the beginnings of Jaime becoming a better person. His journey with Brienne changed him and his interactions with Cersei are making him see just how different he and his sister are. I’ve said it before, Jaime is my favourite character and I am extremely happy to see his character develop.

We also get to see Jaime and Joffrey together, something that I don’t think has happened before in the show. It’s interesting to see Jaime realise just how much of a shit his son is. That’s your kid. That psychopathic monster is of your loins and here he is, talking shit to you. We also get to see how quickly word is spreading of Jaime’s disfigurement and how people are already starting to question his ability. It will be interesting to see how the show develops this.

The wildings also make an appearance, we get to see how they are fairing south of the wall. This is very nice to see as, in the books, when Jon leaves their company we hear nothing of them. I really liked having the Thenns join them. So far, all we have seen of the wildlings are a bunch of rag-tag peasants with sticks, nothing to be too impressed about. But these guys really show us just how messed up things can get on the wrong side of the wall. Crazy cannibals is what we get, and boy do they look badass. It’s going to be nice to see what escapades these guys get up to on their way to Castle Black.

hound arya chicken

The episode finishes up with one of the best scenes in Game of Thrones history, the showdown with Polliver. As we all know, Arya has her hit list, those she wants to kill. In the books Polliver is on it, luckilly they bring him into the show for some righteous retribution. This scene gives us some brilliant chemistry between The Hound and Arya and gives us two character portrayals that, I feel, are better than the ones in the books. The chicken conversation is absolutely brilliant. You just know something is going to go down, and The Hound being The Hound does not fail to follow through. I do believe his now infamous chicken quote will go down in history as one of the best threats ever conceived. Blood is spilled and corpses are hewed and Arya is reunited with her needle. This scene is by far one of the best we have seen. However, the pinnacle is the moment of Arya’s revenge. Her story is one of the best, I cannot wait to see it develop more.

Overall, the first episode of season four was pretty amazing. I am writing this whilst completely wired after watching the immensity that was episode two, so expect another episode analysis shortly.

Thanks for reading! What did you think of this episode? Favourite scene? Favourite character? Let me know in the comments! Thanks and stay tuned for the episode two review!


10 Fantasy and Sci-Fi Characters we all meet in real life.

So, it dawned on me the other day that a lot, if not all, of my favourite characters can be mirrored in someone I’ve known throughout my life. It seems obvious, but when you really think about it, it is surprising how many people actually fit into certain characters molds the stereotypes they seem to represent. I thought up this list in a semi-delirious state. It is entirely for fun and, whilst you may not agree with some of the character descriptions, some of them are just there to pick fun out of the characters! Even though these are obviously gendered, every character and situation can be easilly switched around for the opposite sex. They’re in no particular order, so please, enjoy my first ever top 10; the 10 Fantasy and Sci-Fi characters you meet in real life!



10 – Link, The Legend of Zelda series.

We all know someone llink 1ike Link. That strange silent person who seems to never say a word, yet always get stuff sorted. They’re the lone wolf who sits in the corner. The stoic, silent type who contributes, let’s face it, almost nothing in group projects yet always seems to come on top. Hell, somehow they even manage to be brilliant with the opposite sex. Even Link is able to become Hyrule’s number one fella in each installment. you’ve got Link and Marin from Link’s Awakening, Link and Malon, Link and Saria, Link and Ruto AND Link and Nabooru, the little lovedog, in Ocarina of Time, Link and Cremia in Majora’s Mask and Link and Ilia in Twilight Princess. Not to mention the series wide fling he seems to be having with Zelda! How does he do it? No one knows, and no one will ever find out seeing as he never says a word! Somehow you’re friends with him, somehow everyone is friends with him. No one really knows how or why, but they know he is a good guy, someone that you can trust and go to. But, he always seems to wear that green tunic…


9 – Auron, Final Fantasy X

Auron represents the badass in our lives. The person we WISH we could be, the one so cool, so clever, so undeniably awesome in every single way, that you almost hate him a little bit. He is just TOO cool, in an unfair way. The glasses, the ‘one arm in one arm out’ look he has got going on, his nonchalant attitude. Everything about this dude screams cool. But, why is he friends with me? This awesome guy, the one too cool to care about things that regular humans care for, he actually looks out for me. Wait, does this mean I am badass too? Hmm, something to think about… Regardless, whilst a little part of you wishes he would just disappear so you can share out his awesomeness, without him you know that the world will just be a little worse off.

8 – Morrigan, Dragon Age: Originsmorrigan

We have all felt this one. Whether you are a guy or a girl, we have all had that time where we meet someone pretty awesome. They’re funny, clever, witty, charming, attractive and they like you. You’d never thought you’d meet this person! Behind all their sass and tough front, deep down there is a person that you really dig, you can actually see yourself being with them for a long time, hey maybe even forever. The trick is? Don’t screw it up, just keep that in mind, don’t screw it up! Whatever you do, be cool, be yourself, be the person that she likes. Don’t screw it up!

You screwed it up. She’s gone. Never to be seen or heard from again. Despite how hard you look and how hard you try, that’s it. It’s over. She will always be the one that got away. Who’s fault is it? Maybe yours, maybe theirs, but you will never truly work it out. It’s almost comforting to see it as inevitable. Hey, even in game there is literally no way to keep Morrigan around. At least we have that as a condolence?


7 – The Courier, Fallout: New Vegas

This guy really put’s you to shame. Whilst you’ve always had that, “Ahh it will be alright, I’ll do it some other time!” and “Ah, I guess I can’t really afford to do that now, I’m kinda tired y’know?” attitude, The Courier takes no excuses and gives himself no breaks. Whilst you were contemplating whether to go to the shop first and then do some work, or do some work and then shop, this guy has already been to the shop, cooked dinner, finished his work and is now chatting up that girl you’ve been wanting to talk to for so long. He has the drive, the motivation and, somehow, all the skills one needs to just get stuff done. Whenever he perceives defeat, he just gets on with it and carries on no matter what. Whereas you just retreat to bed for a few days. Even The Courier himself manages to get back up after being SHOT THROUGH THE HEAD to reclaim the wasteland and model it in whatever way he sees fit. This guy has the entire state of Nevada after him, yet still manages to live to tell the tale. He fights off Deathclaws with a switchblade, whereas you would probably lose to a Molerat, even if you had a Fatman with you. Overall, this guy is just better then you and everyone else, yet you just can’t quite bring yourself to hate him.


6 – Ellen Ripley, Alien series


Probably one of the best Sci-fi protagonists out there, Ripley truly is the epitome of ‘I told you so’, and, by God, we all know someone like that. The person we really should have listened to. The one that, deep down, we know we should be taking their advice, yet, we do not. Instead, we listen to ourselves. Our own silly advice that, usually, get’s us into a worse situation then before. And what do we do when that happens? Run back to Ripley. But does she moan? Does she refuse? Does she throw a fit? Hell no, she ends up kicking ass and sorting most of your shit out on the way. Hell, you may end up being eaten alive by Xenomorphs before the end of it, but at least Ripley is there to fix the mess that you probably created. Oh, Ripley, where would we be without you?


5 – The Hero of Kvatch, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

It’s all about them isn’t it? They always have to be the center of attention. Somehow they manage to be hosting the greatest party whilst also having the greatest job and the greatest house. Constantly at the center of the attention, you seriously do not understand how they manage to pull it off. If that was you, you would be six feet under due to all the work, hassle and stress that comes with the title of “best person in the world ever.” They could be the greatest person ever or they could be a complete idiot, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is their ridiculous stamina and their seemingly alien ability to be everywhere, all the time. The Hero of Kvatch himself managed to be The head of the Fighters Guild, the Mages Guild, the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood. He saved Tamriel from a Daedra, he became a Daedra himself, he was the Knight of the Nine, collected every rare artifact, explored every dungeon and cave, became the Grand Master of the Arena and was somehow able to just teleport  to any location in Cyrodill. Something wasn’t right with this fella, and something isn’t right with his real life counterpart.


4 – Tifa, Final Fantasy VIItifa phone

One of the best characters from Final Fantasy VII is also one many of us know in real life. This girl, often a childhood friend, is the one we all seem to push aside for, apparently, people who are better. Seemingly unaware of her obvious interest and lust in you, she is always given the backseat whilst you pursue other people and other things. Yet, she is always there for you when you inevitably take a snap back into reality and she never seems to blame you for your obliviousness at her advances. In the end, when everything has calmed down and things are back to normal, you start to realise that perhaps you have been staring something brilliant in the face. You realise how similar you two are, how well you get on and how long you have been there for each other. You realise- oh wait, is that Morrigan? Oops, gotta go!


3 – Daenerys Targaryen, A Song of Ice and Fire series

A fan favourite and rightly so, Dany represents the social hub that we all gravitate to. Girls want to be her, guys want to be with her. She has everyone after her, whether they be older sugar daddies like Jorah Mormont or the young heart throbs like Daario Naharis, she seems to get them all. Despite this, she doesn’t settle and always strives to better herself and those she cares for. She is determined, strong and relentless in her pursuit for making herself and the world better. However, no matter how popular she is and how amazing she seems to be, you can never truly hate her for it. After all, how could you hate someone who is genuinely that nice? It just so happens that she is also ridiculous beautiful, very intelligent and a shrewd diplomat too, among many other things. In many ways, she is like Morrigan. Yet, you know you will never stand a chance with this person, but that’s OK. She is a brilliant friend yet a harsh enemy. Get on her bad side? Well you better well pray for forgiveness or that is the end of you. Oh, and also, try not to mention her crazy brother. He is a bit, how shall we put it, over-protective.


2 – GLaDOS, Portal and Portal 2

gladosGLaDOS is crazy. Not the a bit kooky crazy, but the trap you inside a science lab and experiment on you crazy. Relentless, remorseless and down-right frightening, you don’t really understand how this person manages to function. You try and keep your distance, not really knowing what they’re going to do next. You pray that you don’t come under fire from their, how best to put it, ‘eccentricity’, yet this person truly is unpredictable. Yet, somehow, someday, you manage to talk to them. A series of strange events meant you two are now working together or living near each other. You start to see that, despite their completely terrifying front, they have a heart, they have emotions. You start to care for this person, even though you know that you shouldn’t, you know that they will turn crazy any moment. But you can’t help it. In the end, you go along with their craziness. You become a partner in crime and join together to tackle something both of you are united in sorting out, whether it a group presentation or, like Portal 2, a crazy Stephen Merchant voiced A.I. that you end up sending to the moon. Whatever it is, somehow you and this crazy character come to an understanding. You don’t work with each other ever again and probably never speak again, but you both remember that little time you had together.


1 – Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings series

samwiseOh, Sam. The true hero of middle-earth. The one that puts up with the most shit from the most people. We all have a Sam. We all have that one person who, without them, our lives just would not be the same. They put up with our multitudes of problems and dilemmas and are constantly there to pick up the pieces once it is all done. You’ve been friends forever and will probably be friends for the rest of your lives. Yes you’ve had fall outs, yes you have argued and disagreed. But, no matter how long you are angry with each other, it always works out. whether you argue about cancelling arrangements or being corrupted by an evil Ring, in the end the good will always shine through. You don’t really remember how you two became friends, all you know is that Sam has been there pretty much forever. And when that Gollum comes along, because they will, remember that Sam has always had amazing abilities at first impression. Despite how cool you think Gollum is, how well you have gelled and how close you are getting, they will never replace Sam. However, eventually the day will come where things will change. Perhaps one of you will get married, perhaps one of you will move away. Whatever it is, one day you will have to part. Just remember that Sam was and always is the best friend you will ever have, so remember him when you get to the top!


And that’s it! I hope you enjoyed my list, feel free to leave a comment on whether you agree or not. Or maybe you think someone else should have been in this list? Let me know in the comments and thank you for reading!



A quickie with the White Wolf

The Witcher series is home to probably one of the best fantasy universe’s I’ve come across in a very long time. This is a very brief post on what it is all about. Taking inspiration from, what seems to be, very Germanic, Nordic and Slavic mythologies and creatures, The Witcher world is set within a political boiling pot with fantastical creatures, alluring sorceresses and extremely badass monster hunters. The gameplay itself is an action-RPG. Fairly fluid combat, interesting character development and a multitude of enemies and ways of dispatching them.

The games revolve around Geralt of Rivia. a ‘Witcher’, a man who devotes his life to hunting monsters for rewards. After being infused with magical energies from a very early age, Geralt is a master swordsman and an extremely skilled monster hunter. The stories of the games revolve around Geralt embroiled within various political struggles alongside his personal struggle of trying to regain his memory and discoverer the fate of his lost love.  I have sunk many many hours in the second game, The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings. It is an extremely good game, in my opinion.

However, the third game looks immense. An open world, next-gen masterpiece, it will be the grand finale to Geralt’s brilliant story. You can pick the second and first installments of The Witcher trilogy on Steam. You can also find copies for the Xbox 360 and PS3.

If you are unaware of the series at all, have a look at these trailers and gameplay videos to see if they tickle your fancy. In the meantime, watch this space! The Witcher 3 will be a day one purchase for me and I will be giving it a review once I have played the hell out of it. Have you played any of The Witcher games? What’s your opinion on them? Thanks for reading!


Fallout: Hopes and Dreams for a better America

Please play the following soundtrack whilst reading this post

The Enclave needs YOU citizen!

America is in turmoil. It’s been a long time since our boys beat back those commie sons o’ bitches from Alaska, but the fight isn’t over yet! Our once great capital, the beautiful Washington D.C. is overrun by filth.

Supermutants, Raiders and the self-righteous Brotherhood of Steel, the home of our great American leaders is now home to vile packs of interlopers and intruders. Who is going to stand for freedom and the good of America? Who is going to show these villians that America is the land of the free! The home of the great! Will it be you, citizen? Will you stand with the Enclave? Will you stand for liberty, freedom and courage, the cornerstones of American life?

A brave Enclave troop!

A brave Enclave troop!

I remember a time, back home in Texas. My pa would be on our Ranch, ma would be baking a nice pie and my dog, Buddy, and I would run around the fields, baseball in hand. Those were the good old days. Before the war, before the turmoil. Now, citizen, we fear for our lives. Starvation, dehydration, mutilation; all of these are common threats to the great people of America. Do you want a way out? Do you want to take a stand? Do you want to refuse to be downtrodden and beaten into the dirt? Then join the Enclave, Citizen. The Enclave is America. The Enclave is hope. The Enclave is the future!

I know what you have been thinking. We have been gone for so long. We have been strangers to these parts for many years. For that, I apologize. We let you down in your time of need, something we can never be forgiven for. However, what I can promise you is that we will repay that debt tenfold. Do you dream of a powerful America? Do you dream of safety and security? The Enclave will give you all of this and more. There is no need to cower from our enemies. There is no need to turn to the Brotherhood technophiles for your solution. There is no need to seek shelter from the storm. The Enclave is the calm. 

So join me, citizen, join me in our great reclamation of America, join the Enclave!


The Hobbit: The Revelation that Elves Are Pretty Badass.

Spoilers are everywhere, read at your own risk. Also, if you’re a fan of the first Hobbit movie then I apologise.

So, I watched the second Hobbit movie last night. After being kind of let down by the first, I was not expecting much. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is probably the best fantasy film series out there, I sat down and watched The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey thinking it was going to be similar to that. As everyone who has watched will tell you, it isn’t.  As you can imagine, I wasn’t massively excited to sit through another two and a half hours of singing, dancing, Radagast reenacting scenes from Snow White, Gandalf somehow being unable to dispatch a little band of Orcs and, my god, the Dwarves. I usually like a nice archetype Dwarf, but most of them got on my nerves.

The only redeeming quality, I found, was the casting of Martin Freeman as Bilbo – I don’t think we could find a better person to play an exasperated, slightly cynical, home-loving Hobbit.

So, with all of these thoughts going around my head, I sat down and watched a brand new shiny copy of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

It. Was. Amazing.


If you’re not excited then I’m afraid you’re not doing it right.

Tonight is the night, the one we have all been waiting for. Don’t try and hide it! I know the truth. It’s OK to admit your love for A Game of Thrones. It’s OK to embrace George R. R. Martin as your Lord and Saviour, I did this long ago.

Make sure you tune in to Sky Atlantic at 2 A.M. tomorrow morning or HBO at <insert American time here> tonight. Or if, like me, you don’t have access to either of those, sail the high seas looting and pillaging until you successfully find a copy of the episode, like the scurvy ridden pirate you are.

Just in case, for whatever reason, you are not hyped as hell for this episode, please find attached some of the amazing trailers and behind the scenes videos HBO has been teasing us with.


Pandas and Plum Wine – Why Mists of Pandaria fell short of expectations.

I have sunk countless hours into World of Warcraft. For me, the glory days were back in Wrath of the Lich King. Icecrown Citadel was truly an epic experience. Arthas’ rise to grace and fall to damnation was probably one of the greatest stories Blizzard has ever told. The Death Knight was instantly my favourite class when it was introduced, it has been my main ever since. Northrend music and scenery was amazing. Dalaran was a pretty cool city. Overall, the peak for WoW in my eyes.

Then Cataclysm came. It was alright, nothing too amazing. It gave us the worst raid experience ever; Dragon Soul. We got to conclude Deathwing’s chapter in Azeroth by beating down his tentacled remains in the maelstrom. Thrall was, once again, given the limelight and became this infallible demi-god like Orc, taking all the god damn credit for our efforts. He Gave Garrosh the title of Warchief and left with his merry band of shamans to tame those pesky elements.

Then came Pandaria. The mess, the grind, the tiresome chore that was Pandaria. The Pandas themselves were hypocritical drunkards,

“Hey, we don’t want your pointless race war! Settle your differences you ignorant fools!”

“Oh, wait, Mogu, Mantid and Yaungol? No thanks, let’s put up a massive wall to keep them out of our lands and relentlessly exterminate them if they manage to get through.”

– Taran-Zhu, Leader of the Shado-Pan (The apparently really strong ninja monk fighter pandas)


28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds – Bunny Rabbits and Jet Engines.

I first saw Donnie Darko when I was 16. It was on Film Four and I was currently putting off revising for my G.C.S.E.’s. As soon as I first started watching this film, I was entranced. I truly think it is one of the greatest cinematic works of the 21st century. Jake Gyllenhal cemented his position as a pretty solid actor, giving us a very good performance of a teenage, suburban American life in the late 80’s. The film touches on some pretty intense subjects, such as pedophilia and mental disorders, as we watch Donnie work out cryptic dreams over the course of 28 days. Despite it not being set in any Sci-Fi or Fantasy world, I consider the elements and themes touched in this movie to be very science fiction based.

The story itself is one which focuses around time-travel and the theories of alternate realities. However, it isn’t obvious. Donnie Darko is one of these films which needs to be watched more than once in order to fully understand. I have seen it many times and it is one of my personal favourite films. The music, the shots, the script and the story are all flawless. Check out this scene, probably one of the best scenes in the entire movie. Very well shot with great msuci to accompany it, this is probably my favourite scene of the whole film.

Aside from this, the best part of Donnie Darko is how it masks the true story of the film, time-travel and alternate dimensions, under the guise of apparent mental disorder. From the get go we see that the protagonist, Donnie, is possibly mentally unstable. This is furthermore perpetuated throughout the movie with his visits to the counselor and hallucinogenic visions of Frank, a 6 ft. bunny rabbit, guiding him through the film.frank

Donnie Darko is on a journey, he doesn’t know where to or why, all he knows is that he has 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds before ‘the world ends’. The audience is left on the brink of anticipation, trying to fully work out who Frank is and why the world will be ending. It is only after further viewings and, perhaps, some googling of the true meaning of Donnie Darko that you fully understand what it is about.  I’m not going to spoil the ending for anyone nor am I going to explain why it is fully around time-travel, this is one of the movies that I personally rate highly and I would recommend everyone to give it a watch.

The Lannisters send their regards.

Hype is building.

Videos are teasing.

Winter is coming.

Lions are roaring.

It’s accepted that we are all pretty excited for the new series of Game of Thrones at the minute. I hope you all took my advice and bought or at least had a look at the novels. If not, then don’t worry. Today is a little special post about my favourite (Yes, they’re my favourites) House of Westeros –  The Lannisters.